The first love is there and still alive in the memory of many people. Sometimes, however, this footprint is marked with more intensity. It is at that moment when the past is idealized to the extreme points and that one tends to live with more feeling of longing.
The first love seems perfect from the perspective of the passage of time, but the reality is that a person must learn to live by looking forward and not backward. That means going back on the life path. In the following article on Psychologypedia, we will answer a Frequently Asked Question for many people: can you forget first love? Keep reading to find out.
Why Can’t I Forget My First Love
If you’re wondering why you can’t forget your first love, then we’re going to show you what couples therapy specialists say about why it may be harder to get the first person out of our minds that we fell in love with:
- You experience a new emotional connection that you had never felt before and you have such deep feelings of love for the first time.
- All these new and intense emotions are lived and experienced in such a precipitous way that they are later more difficult to forget.
- With the first love, we create our own definition of love taking into account what we feel for that person in this first time, and this can make it more complicated to replace it later and we want to repeat what we have felt with other people that we will meet in the future.
- There are many people who have their first intimate experiences with their first love, and this can make them, then, have a “special” memory of those moments and want to experience the same thing again with other people.
- The first love, even if not in a conscious way, causes us to discover and expose many of our insecurities and how far we are willing to go to preserve the love we feel for that person. Without a doubt, all this is something we do not easily forget.
In conclusion and taking into account all the causes explained above, we can say that the first love is more difficult to forget because of all the feelings and sensations we felt at that time, which we would like to revive with the other people we know throughout our life.
Life is continuous learning and as time goes by, we learn that love is important, but there are also other important things that we must pay attention to.
How To Forget The First Love
Once we’re clear that even if it can be complicated if you can forget first love, let’s see some tips that can help us recover from that relationship and get it out of our mind if we haven’t done it yet:
- Take objectivity and distance from the situation. Sometimes, when you can’t forget a person, you don’t realize that person isn’t even the same person you knew anymore. Over the years, he’s changed, he’s evolved and he’s got his own life. Perhaps, if you were to meet that person again, you would realize that you have nothing in common and that there is very little left of that person you fell in love with. And at that moment, the interest dies naturally.
- Behind the constant memory of first love, there is an insane idealization. Simply because attachment to the past is not the best way to live. You must keep the best memories of yesterday, but also maintain the motivation and enthusiasm to face the news of tomorrow.
- Avoid spending a lot of time thinking about your first love. If your thoughts are continually directed towards that person, try to distract yourself and keep busy to stop thinking about that past relationship and focus on your present and future.
- Try to be realistic and understand that there are no two equal love relationships. You must also remove from your head the thoughts like” I will never love anyone like that”, “I will not be able to love anyone else like that”, etc. Even though it may seem complicated to you, think that most people do not end up with their first love and that they know different people in their life with whom they are able to love again and be completely happy.
- Think about what your life is like now and focus on everything you’ve got or that makes you happy.
- Take care of yourself, spend your free time doing what you really want and share your life with those you love and feel comfortable with.
- If you feel that you cannot forget your first love for yourself and would like to do so in order to move on, then it is best to seek professional help and go to psychological therapy.
How To Get My First Love Back
On the other hand, it should be pointed out that sometimes, in case of being totally convinced that it is worthwhile to get again on the first love, then it is essential to take the initiative, always assuming that rejection is a possibility. But the most important thing in life is to stay calm with yourself and not drag the doubt of knowing what would have happened if you risked. So if you think he/she is the right person and you can give him/her a second chance, don’t hesitate to look for him and talk to him/her to know what he/she has to say about it.
The first love is an experience that is marked in positive precisely by the novelty of feeling, butterflies in the stomach.