The term “emotionally unavailable” generally refers to those people who create barriers between themselves and others in an effort to avoid emotional intimacy. Relationships with these people are often depressing and worrisome, as their partners come to feel neglected or unwanted . People who are not emotionally available actually seek to relate to others, but problems begin when they are unable to fully engage in these relationships. Because emotionally unavailable people often behave as if they really want to be in a relationship, it is important to be able to recognize their characteristics.

Not physically available!

Emotionally unavailable people are difficult to contact. If you communicate with them and you will hear the voicemail. If you leave a message you can wait for weeks to get the callback or you may never do so. It is also possible that they will not give you any contact information. These people are not willing to make plans or express their availability. Or if they make plans, they can forget about them and leave their partners waiting.

No relationship is perfect, and even people emotionally available have jobs and obligations that interfere with the time they spend with their loved ones. On the other hand, in any healthy relationship, it is also not convenient for both people to appear as Siamese and a certain autonomy is also good. But the difference is that emotionally available people are able to make room in their agenda, and more importantly, they can be physically available to the important people in their life.



People who are in relationships with people,  are not emotionally available and often ignore much of their partners’ lives. An emotionally unavailable person may never be interested in knowing about their partner’s family or friends. You may not even know where you live or what you do to make a living. Otherwise, you may realize that your partner does not know anything about him either.

In the first days of a relationship, it is normal not to put all the cards on the table. People need time to get to know each other before revealing their personal information. But if after a couple of months, the simple and mundane details of the person’s life are still a mystery, this is an important warning signal. Emotionally available people allow their partners to know them and also want to know them. A person emotionally unavailable many times does not.

Committed To Another Person

These people may be married or recently separated. Maybe they’re dating someone else, or they want it. They probably just came out of a relationship. In any case, an individual who is involved with another person is likely to be emotionally unavailable to someone else. Although on the other hand, they are probably not emotionally available to any person with whom they relate. There are also those people who actively seek multiple relationships in order to avoid emotional intimacy with just one person. There are exceptions and many people with many relationships claim to be emotionally committed to all of them, but they are rare. In general, if another person is or was recently involved, they are most likely not emotionally available.


The nature of addiction makes emotionally unavailable because this condition has priority over anything else. Even during recovery, the addiction is emotionally unavailable because he needs to concentrate all his energy to overcome his addiction. For this reason, in particular, most rehabilitation centers have a strict non-fraternization policy. Relationships interfere with recovery and vice versa. In some cases, people involved with addicts become addicted or develop codependent behaviors in order to create a false sense of intimacy with the addict. This can make relationships with addicts not only painful but also dangerous on many occasions.

Gender And Emotional Availability

There are several references on the web addressed to women, so they can recognize and deal with emotionally unavailable men. Certainly, the lack of emotional availability is not gender specific. The issue of emotional availability and intimacy has to do with trust, which affects both sexes. Emotional availability is also not a question of gender roles or behaviors. It’s not about “getting in touch with your own masculine side” or about “sharing feelings.”

It is about being emotionally and physically present for the other person.

They are two individuals who need to know that their partner is there for them and that they have their support. In relationships with emotionally unavailable people, this sense of security and trust does not exist.


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