When we end a relationship sometimes all that remains is to lament the terrible reality, the inevitable end and the beginning of something that seems to have no direction. We realize the mistakes and successes we made, we would like to make amends for the things that went wrong, but there is no turning back. Everything has gone to hell and the dream life we once imagined has died without a remedy.
We heard the most absurd advice: “they will surely return”, “encouragement, the world is full of new prospects”, “it was obvious that at some point it was going to end, nothing is forever”. Evidently, they are right, all those who see it from the outside do not deal with the same pain to give us advice which, though painful, are true.
But we, in an irredeemable abyss that seems to sink more, see only the contrast, the deep pain of no longer seeing our partner in the same way, the hugs that we did not give him, the kisses that we lacked, the joke that we had kept for the ideal moment and that simply did not happen. Now we will never again enjoy our friendship and we are faced with the painful need to rebuild our heart in pieces.
How do you do that? There is no infallible remedy. Everyone is weak, the brain plays the most terrible contradictions. We cannot rule over what we feel, we fail to give the right orders so that, without further ado, that person disappears from our past in the style of “eternal glow of a mind without memories.” We’re not able to do it yet, but as an introspection therapy, these six steps will help you feel better and heal the wounds faster.
Accept that you love that person, but something happened and the end is inevitable.
Sometimes your partner just needs space; sometimes love is over and there’s no choice. The point is, when the end comes, it’s best to accept it and stop messing with our heads because those illusions that something new can come up with our old love just end up stealing your breath and making you feel like your present is empty.
Tell someone or write to get relief
The best therapy is to talk about what happens, if you don’t, little by little the feeling will destroy you inside. Don’t isolate yourself. If you don’t think you’re ready to tell a friend, write down how you feel, what you didn’t tell him, what you want to tell him, and you can’t. This will help you stop repressing your emotions.
Don’t run away from the pain
Surely in these moments, you feel a little shattered, and everything makes you cry. Don’t run away from the pain, cry all you need, don’t repress. You will see that after that emotional catharsis will be simpler to overcome the breakup.
Don’t torture yourself
Stop seeing the most romantic and beautiful moments you’ve ever lived with that person. We know you probably don’t hate him, and it’s okay for you to keep the best details, but stop seeing his pictures and all the nice things he gave you. Don’t mark it or look for it, because it will surely give you an answer you don’t want to hear.
Give yourself time to heal
Maybe it’s the hardest stage. You’ve stopped cursing and crying for someone who broke your heart, but now is not the time to seek a new love conquest. This time is yours and the best thing you can do is enjoy the things you like most or try new adventures and challenges.
Keep busy yourself
Every time you think about your partner, go for a run, take a book, decide something relevant in your life. Don’t beat yourself up thinking of the “best moments of your past,” enjoy the solitude that you probably didn’t have long ago.
Maybe you have to vent, write to him everything you think. You should probably do it with a foreign voice, tell someone who broke your heart how much you’ll miss him or rot in the worst place in the world: one more week to gather all the love of time. To give it to you. So you can do with it whatever you want: keep it, caress it, throw it away. It’s no good, it’s true. I just want a week to understand things. Because this is a lot like coming out of a madhouse to get into a pantheon.