“I’m married but I feel lonely.” Are you familiar with this phrase? If lately, you feel that in your marriage you are distancing yourself and that you barely spend quality moments together, it’s normal for you to feel alone. Many times, routine, stress, and habit can make that spark of love in marriage go away and, in the end, don’t feel like you share your life with your partner but simply live with a roommate.
In psychologypedia, we are going to help you solve this situation and solve any problems you may have with your partner. Keep in mind that talking is understood by people and, therefore, it is essential that you express yourself and communicate so that, together, you can regain the passion and love that has united you.
- 1 Why do I feel lonely?
- 2 What do I do if I feel empty in my marriage? 5 tips
Why do I feel lonely?
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re married but lonely, you need to know that there are some very common causes that cause these problems in marriage. This usually happens when the relationship is settled and the two members begin to live their lives at a certain distance.
Here is a list of the most common reasons you feel alone in a marriage. It is important to identify the source of the problem so as to choose the most suitable solution.
Your Husband Is No Longer The Same
If there is one thing that is clear is that, throughout our life, it is normal to evolve. It may be that we have new interests, that we meet other people who discover a new world, that there is a situation that causes us to change our thinking or philosophy, etc. Therefore, it is possible that your partner has experienced some of these changes and that, now, you don’t feel so close or close to you. In these cases, the interesting thing is that you reject this new version of yourself, but that you do exactly the opposite: that you care about their new ambitions and that you are also part of them.
It Is You Who Has Changed
The opposite situation can also occur, that is, that you are who has changed over the years. In these cases, it is not advisable for you to separate your partner from your new “I” but to include him/her in your new life, to make him/her part of your new interests and that together you can continue to grow and evolve.
The Routine is Overcoming You
Another reason is that you are married, you feel alone and you do not strive as before. You may now be more settled in routine and comfort and therefore have been slightly”abandoned”. This situation can make you feel that you are no longer special to your partner and that you never feel like doing things with you, so it is essential to try to keep alive the flame of marriage and love so that routine does not hurt you too much.
Overwork Or Obligations
And, finally, another of the most common cases that can make you feel alone in your marriage is that your partner lives in an environment of work stress that consumes a lot of time. In fact, this has been, traditionally, the most common cause of failures in marriage and is that stress at work can end up separating the couple and making the relationship end up being consumed. If this is the situation you’re in, we recommend you talk to your partner to see where you are. I’m sure you can come to some agreement that will balance your working life with your personal life.
What do I do if I feel empty in my marriage? 5 tips
Whatever the cause of your feeling of loneliness, it’s important that you start putting in the solution that your marriage needs. It is essential that you do not let much more time go by because, if so, in the end, you may become more and more distant and that, in the end, love ends up disappearing. Therefore, resolve this situation as soon as possible and establish with your partners the path to follow.
Here we’ll give you 5 tips so you know what to do if you’re married but you’re lonely:
1- Talk with your partner
Clearly, if you have a problem with your marriage, you have to talk to your partner. It is likely that if he/she is very much involved in their work or their obligations, or even realize that you feel alone. And you mustn’t be angry about it. It is essential that we learn to communicate and not argue, we should not take anything for granted or expect our partners to know everything about us. So, talk to him/her and explain how you feel, so you can figure out the solution between the two of you.
2- Moments of intimacy
You may be lonely because lately, you haven’t had romantic moments just for you. Many times, you can stay with family, friends and always be surrounded by children and, this, you can do that with relationship distance and, in the end, we take less. Therefore, a good way to get that union back is for you to spend a moment just for yourself: plan a romantic dinner, go on a rural weekend, book a night in a hotel and get your passion back… Anything but together and alone!
3- Resolve conflicts that have distanced you
It may also be that your relationship is going through a bad time. The Couple crises exist but getting out of them depends on the effort and willingness of the two people. Therefore, we recommend that you sit down and talk and solve the problems that are separating you. Speak calmly and with a resolute will. The aim is not to discuss or throw the “junk” in the face, but what we are looking for is to solve this situation and get back on track.
4- Ask yourself, Are you still in love?
It may be that you’ve been feeling lonely for a long time and that, right now, you don’t feel the same way about your partner. In these cases, it is important that you be sincere and appreciate whether you still want to fight for your relationship or if, on the contrary, you prefer to give yourself some time and see what happens. You don’t need to continue with a relationship you don’t believe in anymore, so in this case, it’s best if you put a little distance and see if it was a bump or if, really, there’s nothing between you anymore.
5- Go to therapy
If you don’t want to throw in the towel but don’t know how to approach this situation, we recommend that you leave it in the hands of a professional. There are many therapists specialized in resolving couples ‘ conflicts who can give you the keys and techniques to improve your relationship and get it back. But, of course, for this to bear fruit, it is essential that both of you be willing to work and strive for yourselves. Only then will it make sense to go to therapy.
This article is merely informative, in psychologypedia we have no faculty to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to see a psychologist to deal with your particular case.