Sometimes we hate everything around us including people. Find out why this happens, the source of hatred and how to get rid of it through this post.
We have recently received in a question from a person who wrote because he feels that there are many things that generate hatred and anger. This person feels angry about everything, even little things or misunderstandings from day to day. Everything gives him irritation and discomfort and he asks why that happens to him.
Today’s article is intended to talk about the explanation of this hatred towards all people and towards everything in general.
Why is Sustained Irritability Or Hatred Generated?
Usually, people who feel hatred for others are based on unpleasant experiences with others. These experiences cause the person to isolate itself, reject contact or simply people dislike to others, asking and demanding (explicitly or implicitly, sometimes it is simply waiting for the other person to do what you think it should do) to the few people who are around a lot of attention.
They try to fill the social vacuum they feel from a few people and end up generating annoyance and rejection from others. This rejection, which they consider unjustified, is interpreted as an injustice, betrayal, and incomprehension of the other person towards himself. The feeling is that everyone is bad and not worth relating because you will always be disappointed. Thus, the circle is growing closer and more demands are placed on the few people they have until finally, these people end up being completely isolated.
Therefore, the concept that people are bad, treacherous and eventually disappoint you and you end up being generalized and that makes the look always on the behaviors that others do wrong while ignoring the many others that are done well or for the benefit of the person. A collection of negative experiences is made that is selective, that is, it does not remember everything the person does (good and bad), it only remembers the bad, so that it accumulates anger and resentment towards the person itself.
Thus, hatred and resentment are generated from the sense of abandonment or deception on the part of others. These feelings appear and take root in these people in such a way that they end up unbalancing the person emotionally. Those who feel hatred think that feeling this emotion hurts others when they are actually hurting themselves because they end up isolating themselves from society and remember that we are social beings and need the contact and warmth of others.
What Is The Origin Of Hatred Towards Others?
Sometimes hatred of others is nothing more than self-hatred that is masked. The person who feels hatred for others may simply not be satisfied with the life he leads and feels certain envy of people who have a more fulfilling life. In fact, in the case we exposed you at the beginning of the post, the person ends his argument by saying that the other person has a perfect life with work, friends, etc.
The person feels envious towards whoever is in front and that translates into hatred and anger that can be expressed or not but that will surely manifest in the way of relating.The truth is that this hatred has focused on the other person when it would be best for everyone to focus on getting a good job and self-criticism of the social area in order to be able to analyze the situations with a little more objectivity.
At other times hatred is generated through multiple experiences where the feeling is of abandonment and learned helplessness. This means that the person learns through experiences, that whatever he does they will never listen to him or take into account how the person needs and so the only solution is to blame others.
What Can I Do To Stop Feeling Hatred For Others?
- Analyze the situations that generate hatred:maybe you are generalizing? Sometimes we accumulate negative experiences and add resentment to hatred, so when we see a person, not only does the last thing he did to us cause us discomfort, but we think about everything he did to us before. Try to “clean up” experiences, that is, if the things that bother you happened long ago and didn’t happen again, it’s time to move on. Focus on what’s bothering you today and stop racking up rancor by reliving each of the situations that hurt you.
- Talk to the person who gives you hatred: if there has been something that has bothered you, the most important thing is that you try to talk to that person to change the situation or the dynamics that are repeated. Try to make that conversation constructive, that is, seekto solve the problem, not empty or discharge all your anger. That will not solve anything and the only thing that will do is that you stay more isolated than you are.
- Analyze your life and modify what you don’t like about it: if what you really feel is envy, focus on yourself and seek to change everything that doesn’t satisfy you. Thinking about how wonderful other people’s lives are, won’t change yours. Propose goals and objectives and strive to achieve them.
- Look for the positive side of others: not everyone is ogres. Try to appreciate the positive aspects of other people. This work will be very complicated, try to spin very fine, that is, Think situation after situation, experience after experience, everything you value as positive of others. And then, also value your positive aspects, I’m sure you have many virtues, list them.
- Stop making value judgments: sometimes when we lack the information we tend to fill it with conjectures and situations that may not have happened. Don’t play riddles, if you lack information, don’t judge until you complete it. Besides, you need to accept the mistake. We are not perfect and others are wrong too.
- Connect with more people and avoid generalization: not everyone is the same. Give the people you know a second chance once you’ve changed the prism from which you look. And to the new people that you know, don’t go with the preconception that you are going to fail. Give them a vote of confidence.
In conclusion, hatred is an emotion that brings you nothing positive, because it doesn’t alert you to anything and what it does is that you distrust others. If you free yourself from hate, you’ll probably feel better about yourself. If you can’t do it on your own, go to professional help.